CAHAYA KEMULIAAN

Another 15 minutes for Azan Subuh. Waiting with the bursting heart. It is the first day of Ramadhan. Fasting. Will I up to the challenge? Jangan main2 dengan cubaan dari Tuhan Yang Maha Pengasih itu, para pembaca yang dimuliakan, sebagaimana yang saya tahu, cubaan itu aneh2 belaka.

I did what I could just now. I cook mee udon, sort of laksa, sedap (pujian ini benar2, iya benar), sebab ada mushroom, which according to another friend, the strangest vegetable ever. I beg to differ, I think it’s pretty, of course being me, I view everything is beautiful. Except an ugly soul.

I make a lemon tea. I don’t have a milo though. Why I need a milo when I’m allergic to the milk? Because Mum will make milo on every sahur for Amin (adik bungsu saya yang ngada2 itu), and then we will all manja2 share2 milo from him, just to see whether he will make a face or not, hahaha. A tease.

The picture of sahur is still vivid in my mind. In the kitchen, where we will eat with half of our eyes shut, and after eating rice and all the dishes, then we fight for whatever-left kuih sugi. Or any kuih that we can steal from Mum’s. Then follow by drinking the stolen milo! After Subuh, everyone of us will go to the dreamland.

In the late afternoon, will go to Pasar Ramadhan and buy lots of things. Ikan sembilang masak pedas is a must. Kuih apam for my Mum. And Popia Goreng for Amin. Air tebu for all of us.

Great, just great, live in the past, Nur.

Subuh dah, tak sompek minum air. Duh.

Salam,

Dear All,

Hope you have a good terawikh..a good sahur..and be blessed, as always..below is the image of the "door" , please help me by throwing any ideas (regardless whatever it is, dont be embarrased to lay it out to me) for my assignment (please refer to the previous entry).

I miss you Dad, Mum, siblings, si gumuk. Dan kau Kak, Ija. Hope you guys miss me too.

Dear All,

What a strange day today, Friday August 29,2008, the most holy day, the last Friday of Sya’ban, and the day my supervisor decides to exercise his funny side!

A message from him that I found horrendous –

Please see the attached picture of a ‘door’ image from Islamic images that we see around us in our Muslim environment, either in mosques, palaces, fountains etc.  But images like this and similar ones are popularly used in Islamic finance material as well (books, conference brochures etc.).  This particular image is from a report recently I sent to you (Islamic finance outlook 2008).

Knowing my attachment to discourse analysis, and deconstructive critical analysis, I like you to think about this question:  If any, what is the symbolic nature of door in Islam and Islamic economics and finance?

The best answer will get a book. Please do not write an essay; maximum 150 words will be enough.  And it is not compulsory (but those who will not participate will be punished severely – just joking!). Deadline: last week of October.

WHAT? What sort of essay is this? I think I’m being punished now for what I did to my students, yeah, I asked them to write weird essay too. Huh. What a Friday day!

Kak, if you have any ideas, please do not hesitate to tell me, and you too Din, and of course to all of you.

Salam Pencinta Kejaiban,

Moga-moga keajaiban itu akan berlaku lagi di dalam hidup mu.

Just a quick words to myself – to remind what I’m going to blog whenever I can find time for it.

1)      You won’t believe it, I finally found a book on Labour Market that makes me chuckle, and laugh with gusto. Why is that? Because the author doesn’t believe in any theory, and write it with a marvelous satire. Never could I imagine someone who knows very well all the theories, someone who is truly a genius but eventually lose all the faiths and beliefs and converts to skepticism. I think I’m becoming one. Yeah, like one of my friends.

2)      I love to write about what another great economist skeptically wrote about Keynesian Economics and associated it with the religion! Sometimes I wonder, do they believe in anything?

3)       I thought writing about Keynes will be a cinch, but how wrong I am! It always happens to me lately, being wrong for almost everything. It is the most difficult part so far ( and I thought production function is the hardest), because there are layers of interpretation in the Keynes’ General Theory which is seriously perplexing. And damn me, I have no idea what Dr. Mehmet wants. I do know what I want though – to never revisit the celebrated Keynesian Labour Economics. Ever. Ever. Rest in Peace, my brother.

4)      The heartbroken moments that I’m going to experience in September. But, I would like to remind you Miss Nur, this is the greatest month ever, so don’t you dare drowning yourself in the hedonic dreams.

5)      All the definite state that I’m currently battling on. Great. Thanks to you for defining it. I was quite afraid at first, but then, you are so predictable. Because through you, I am able to see who I am, at last. A bow to you, a final curtain has been called.

And if by God’s will, I’ll go home. Please God, send me a ticket. Please please please. By some miracles, it can happen. Happy Ramadhan al-Mubarak my dearest readers, hope you and I will be blessed. 

Bismilahhir-Rahman nir-Rahim,

Dear All, Salam Pencinta Kebenaran, moga Tuhan-Ku dan Tuhan-Mu yang Maha Penyayang itu menyayangi mu.

Semasa saya melakukan spring cleaning, saya terjumpa catitan-catitan kosong saya semasa saya stranded di Malaysia awal tahun ini. Catatan dimana saya sedang berada didalam ujian terbesar dalam hidup saya – dimana jiwa dan hati saya berkeceramuk. Tapi Tuhan Yang Maha Mendengar itu, Maha Mengetahui dan mengangkat du’a saya ke langit.

Dan di sini, saya paparkan sedikit daripada coretan ini. Kenapa? Kerana saya mahu setiap dari kamu yang dimuliakan ini mendu’akan nya. Kerana du’a dari seorang sahabat untuk sahabat lain tiada hijab nya. Kerana, ya, saya butuh du’a kamu.

If I have an unlimited wealth:

(9) -  (Owh, I couldn’t really tell you my dreams 1-8, right?) Have acres and acres land for youth development place, I don’t know, sort of like mall or something? Place for hang out, not just for youth I change my mind, there will be nurseries for children and old folk homes, combine with the youth houses, thus they can mix together. But the parents and children need to collect them at 5pm SHARP! (need some elaborations here – parents will collect their children, the sons and daughters need to collect their parents). We are just providing a place for them to enjoy themselves during office hours only.

There will be pools for every gender, every age -  men, ladies, children below 5, below 13, and above. There will be life guards, and swimming instructors. There will be a library of course, with every imaginable books, unlimited books, group readings, activities concerning life-long learning. There will be computer rooms – thousands computers and laptops. There will be home theaters – sort of big cinemas, I’ll choose the films!

There will be gardens, with rivers of course (can I construct a river Ja? Kak?). There will be sections for those who are interested in gardening, free roaming for them. And lots lots lots games provided such as chess for elderly, or…I need to surf the internet to find out what sort of equipment we need here. Rock climbing, I guess, will be popular with the youngsters.

Kelas agama, kelas mengaji, according to their levels. And of course the mall is open for the school students, who need a place to hang out, they can come after school, so, rather than being left alone at homes, or spend time at towns with nothing to do!

Lunch will be served, or for those who are interested in cooking for themselves, by all means! And of course, there will be coffee shops – the best Italian coffees, or Moroccan, Turkish, or anything!

  With an unlimited wealth…..

Bismillahhir-rahman nir-rahim,

Salam kepada pencinta kebenaran, walau apa jua makna kebenaran itu pada kamu.

Saya berehat dari menulis. Sungguh sukar bagi saya mahu menulis. Membaca itu lain cerita, menulis itu memerlukan satu semangat yang jitu, pemilihan kata-kata (words) sangat sangat penting kerana ia mereflek (entah, blasah jer perkataan ini, in English – reflect!) keupayaan kita dalam memahami teori.

Saya rasa, sekiranya saya memaksa otak saya memahami setiap teori dalam dunia ini, pasti saya berjaya melakukan nya. Kerana, saya ada kapasiti untuk memahami nya, Cuma cepat atau lambat.

Kepada para pelajar yang dihormati, jangan risau sekiranya kamu tidak dapat menangkap apakah pensyarah kamu katakan, dan mengapakah kamu perlu memahami teori-teori yang bisa saja buat kamu jadi gile, heard me – it takes me a month to understand a single theory in the labour market. I repeat, a month.

Thus, I’m a slow learner, right? If you feel that you are slow learners as well, welcome to the club!

All I’m saying is, you can do it. If your Miss Nur can do it, definitely you can do it too.

If you think that your Miss Nur is clever, nah, she is as clever as you.

Bismillahir-Rahman nir-Rahim,

Dear All,

I am easily affected by what I read compare to what I watch. I guess the word “iqra’” is so powerful in shaping my thoughts and personality, equivalently to yours as well, I believe? Thus, I won’t catch myself into reading something malicious (according to my interpretation) or wicked or horrendous.

Once I read Stephen King’s story book, I think the title is Christine. It was an evil car, and I didn’t even finish reading it (it was so unlike me), because I have become so afraid of even come nearer to any cars! Ridiculous! But it shows that how powerful words can be. I never read any King’s books after that. Even touching any King’s books make me shudder.

Thus, I always choose children books, or any young adults books which do not involve any horror scenes or inappropriate ones. And in choosing the books, I will always read the books that win the major awards, be it United States children’s literary awards, Canada Library Association Book of the Year for Children Award or British children’s literary awards.

Because those books are definitely an eye-opener. Because otherwise I will spend thousands on books which do not satisfy my intellectual curiosity, or my emotional needs, or my whimsical sense of humour.

The first thing that I will buy when I get my allowance, if I ever get one, is to spend hundred bucks on books. If my head allows my heart. Pray that my heart will win this war! But I have the scarcity problem here, the utility is only 100pounds, but there are hundreds books to choose. Owh opportunity cost!

Salam,

Dear all,

I just had a conversation with my neighbour, abusing her supervisor. Compare to Dr. Mehmet, mine is a saint.

How true that in study, the challenges are beyond our comprehensions sometimes. I hope that I could produce a thesis that’s up to Dr. Mehmet’s expectation, or more.

My neighbour said that she studies up to seven (7) hours per day for the past month. Seven hours? My goodness, I only spend like 2 hours, solid two hours for studying. Or on some days I don’t even open my books or read any journals. I used to study more during my undergraduate, but heaven helps me, I have become the frolic lady which I snubbed before.

I vow, solemnly vow, to study more. Mean, to read more.

But to be honest, I’m working on the part of my literature review which I have no ideas how to relate it to my thesis’s topic. Dr. Mehmet said the theories are absolutely indispensable, which I refute. But again, I need to follow his words. His words are laws, just like my Dad. Therefore, I hate doing this part. The students will know how much I hate the production function theory. I hate it, because I don’t understand it. But now, alhamdulillah2000x, I do know, it is one of the most elegant concepts in economics, as it is able to determine the level of output (GDP) and the rate of employment. Which leave us with the reason WHY UNEMPLOYMENT HAPPENS. So to speak.

If I read and research better before I further my study, I will take the household economics then, specialize in food production. Focus more on coffee consumptions perhaps. Then I will investigate the original, demand, supply, determinants of cappuccino or expresso, or latte’s consumption. The impacts on the economics, the trade, the revenues, the costs. The investment, the trade unions, the government’s law and legislations.

My God! Why didn’t I think about it before? Isn’t it too late to change my topic?

Salam,

Dear all,

I just had a conversation with my neighbour, abusing her supervisor. Compare to Dr. Mehmet, mine is a saint.

How true that in study, the challenges are beyond our comprehensions sometimes. I hope that I could produce a thesis that’s up to Dr. Mehmet’s expectation, or more.

My neighbour said that she studies up to seven (7) hours per day for the past month. Seven hours? My goodness, I only spend like 2 hours, solid two hours for studying. Or on some days I don’t even open my books or read any journals. I used to study more during my undergraduate, but heaven helps me, I have become the frolic lady which I snubbed before.

I vow, solemnly vow, to study more. Mean, to read more.

But to be honest, I’m working on the part of my literature review which I have no ideas how to relate it to my thesis’s topic. Dr. Mehmet said the theories are absolutely indispensable, which I refute. But again, I need to follow his words. His words are laws, just like my Dad. Therefore, I hate doing this part. The students will know how much I hate the production function theory. I hate it, because I don’t understand it. But now, alhamdulillah2000x, I do know, it is one of the most elegant concepts in economics, as it is able to determine the level of output (GDP) and the rate of employment. Which leave us with the reason WHY UNEMPLOYMENT HAPPENS. So to speak.

If I read and research better before I further my study, I will take the household economics then, specialize in food production. Focus more on coffee consumptions perhaps. Then I will investigate the original, demand, supply, determinants of cappuccino or expresso, or latte’s consumption. The impacts on the economics, the trade, the revenues, the costs. The investment, the trade unions, the government’s law and legislations.

My God! Why didn’t I think about it before? Isn’t it too late to change my topic?

Dear all,

Before I’m off to sleep, my instinct told me to check my e-mail.

Great, there are two e-mails from my supervisor. First is concerning his opinion which refuting my opinion. Great. Just great. Now I have to rewrite and reread more.

Owh, I forget to mention, there is an attachment with the first e-mail -  a paper concerning the remittance decision by the Indonesians workers in Malaysia.

And the second e-mail, he also sends me another paper concerning the remittance decision by the Turkish immigrants in Berlin.

Great. Now I’m going to have a lucid dream, if I ever manage to sleep.

Owh did I mention to you that he also had sent me another paper last week? It was about the impacts of restrictive entry to German by the European immigrants – the forgone and the gains.

Great, just great. All of the papers have nothing to do with my research. He does have a wicked sense of humour. And what does he write as well?  - Just an extension, there are plenty materials available on this subject.

Does he want to redirect my thesis now? I spent 3 months to construct my thoughts and my thesis sub-chapters. If he ever dares to redirect it again, I’m going to run away to Alaska.

Be a diamond miner instead.